a loud kind of whisper.

This has been a challenging week at work to say the least. I don't know how to explain it without being boring so you will just have to take my word on it. It was one of those weeks where just as you are sure nothing else could possibly go wrong it does, and if you don't want to cry you have to just laugh. I didn't do much laughing though. I surprisingly didn't do any crying either, but my heart feels heavy. insecure about my contributions. weary from trying to make things work that aren't. and even though my boss (es) kept saying it was all fine, we couldn't control the things that were falling apart and that we'll all be fine, i left discouraged.

So last night I was racing (ahem ... crawling - it is LA after all) home and started thinking thru my February blog posting. As I was thinking thru a topic, I tried to recall something that has "been on my mind lately" or something I feel like I have been "learning about lately." My mind came up SO blank! Frustratingly blank. Frighteningly blank. Because if I can't say what I have been learning about lately then I probably am not being very intentional to pursue what I say I value most, which is learning, loving, and growing closer to Jesus.

Then this afternoon I was reading a devotional my brother sent me. And it occurred to me the message from Charles Spurgeon by way of Malcolm is a message that has been coming to me over and over and over this past month (probably longer) by various routes and after a week like this I realized just how much I was needing this reminder. I am not sure I have done a good job of listening and certainly at times like this week probably not a good job of practicing it but simply put I was encouraged and challenged. The need to Practice Contentment. Cultivate a mouth (really a heart) that doesn't Complain. Learning to nurture a heart that is Satisfied and GrateFULL with the life God has given me right here now today. Not jumping ahead to things I hope for for the future. Not comparing my life to everyone else around me (as Blair calls it the "highlight reel"). I need to be intentional to weed this heart more carefully even when life is busy! This issue is for sure Top 10 of the things I can attribute to myself as "slow to catch onto."

I guess I am not the only one who struggles with this and given the sheer volume of times it has come up recently at church, small group, thru friends' blogs, from conversations with the hubs, etc. It is really clear that God had been wanting my attention in this area progressively ... He always seems to tickle my mind in a loud kind of whisper until I seemlingly "get it" and then of course give it some time and he will have to "loud kind of whisper" His way into my heart again. I am so glad He never gives up on teaching me the things I need to know! Talk about Patience! Ok, so rather than talk about the devo, here it is for your enjoyment as well as two other friends musings on similar topics. Hope you are challenged and encouraged too.

**My friend, Blair (blog here: www.beingblair.com) recently posted on the subject and another friend from long ago Caitlin (blog here: www.hellohinesfamily.blogspot.com)
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C. H. Spurgeon

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"I have learned, in whatever state I am, therewith to be content."—Philippians 4:11.

HESE words show us that contentment is not a natural propensity of man. "Ill weeds grow apace." Covetousness, discontent, and murmuring are as natural to man as thorns are to the soil. We need not sow thistles and brambles; they come up naturally enough, because they are indigenous to earth: and so, we need not teach men to complain; they complain fast enough without any education. But the precious things of the earth must be cultivated. If we would have wheat, we must plough and sow; if we want flowers, there must be the garden, and all the gardener's care. Now, contentment is one of the flowers of heaven, and if we would have it, it must be cultivated; it will not grow in us by nature; it is the new nature alone that can produce it, and even then we must be specially careful and watchful that we maintain and cultivate the grace which God has sown in us. Paul says, "I have learned . . . to be content;" as much as to say, he did not know how at one time. It cost him some pains to attain to the mystery of that great truth. No doubt he sometimes thought he had learned, and then broke down. And when at last he had attained unto it, and could say, "I have learned in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content," he was an old, grey-headed man, upon the borders of the grave—a poor prisoner shut up in Nero's dungeon at Rome. We might well be willing to endure Paul's infirmities, and share the cold dungeon with him, if we too might by any means attain unto his good degree. Do not indulge the notion that you can be contented with learning, or learn without discipline. It is not a power that may be exercised naturally, but a science to be acquired gradually. We know this from experience. Brother, hush that murmur, natural though it be, and continue a diligent pupil in the College of Content.
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